From brutal honesty to everyday restraint: A qualitative investigation of honesty in relational life
Public PhD defence by Anna Louise Zheng Malfilâtre.
Most of us value honesty in our relationships and consider ourselves honest people. Yet everyday life is full of situations where we soften what we really think, avoid saying what we actually feel, or stay silent to keep the peace. Rarely do these moments reflect intentions of being deceitful. Rather, they reflect how honesty, in practice, often comes into tension with other relational concerns, such as protecting someone’s feelings, maintaining harmony, or respecting one’s own privacy. This thesis explores how people navigate these tensions through three studies: examining how people describe and make sense of “brutal honesty”, how healthcare professionals reflect on difficult conversations with patients, and how people think about restraining themselves to keep a pleasant atmosphere in everyday interactions. These studies show how honesty in relational life is rarely a simple choice between telling the truth or not, but an ongoing negotiation influenced by what we perceive to be at stake for ourselves, for others, and for the relationship.
Assessment committee
- Associate Professor Milan Obaidi, University of Copenhagen, Denmark (chair)
- Professor Alex Gillespie, London School of Economics & Political Science, United Kingdom
- Professor Carla Willig, University of London, City St George's, United Kingdom
Supervisors
- Associate Professor Séamus A. Power, University of Copenhagen, Denmark (principal supervisor)
- Professor Ingo Zettler, University of Copenhagen (co-supervisor)
